Thursday 23rd of September, 2010 after work heading home to realizing that I am not feeling good with headache and cough, after dinner went straight to bed and hoping to get better. Next day I could only take a sick day and finding myself in the clinic waiting for two hours to see a doctor and get antibiotic (Welcome to Canada!!!). The guilt, regrets and total disappointment started to creep in as I could not do anything with my day. Praying to recover so I can continue with my work and spend the weekend with Swami Pragyapad and starting another great Tree planting Project.
Realizing the inevitable that no one will turn up for the volunteering tree planting next day, praying to help me with the situation and realize the weakness not only in my body but also with my work (which I get paid for) kept me painful and felt complete helpless.
Continue to feel the effect of my situation and sickness at this moment my mind is much weaker than the body.
Thinking lets cancel the event by calling few numbers to City of Mississauga, My action could have only works if someone is really working in the City after 9:00pm Friday night, sending few SMS to colleagues who was in Satsang (get-to-gather) with Swami Pragyapad, hoping to recruit more volunteers only disappoint me with more that I am hoping for will not turn up. I kept praying for faster recovery for next day tree planting.
Seeing my complete withdraw, my family kept asking me to cancel the tree planting and rest the whole weekend, although they love Guruji and Art of Living at this moment they could only questioned the volunteer organization without any procedure and protocol to execute a project with any contingency. This only worsens my situation. I felt what a great failure I am going to face tomorrow. All these are my fault as I did not work smart to put any procedure or system.
Saturday 25th of September, 2010 Tree planting day, getting up and doing Kriya with much difficulty knowing some solution will prevail in front, again called few people.
I thought I will talk to the City to cancel or at least plant few trees realize Krishna Menon (I am so grateful for him, without whom we could not have done much on that day) called all his nephews and niece we started with 3 people and end with 8 people. At the end we Planted 108 trees. We spend almost 3 hours and the day was windy and cold (10-12C). I went home with my constant runny nose I felt good that we did something today but it was not helping me with sickness.
Thanks again for those who came for tree planting on September 25th 2010, it’s another great day for great learning.
I really wanted to go and see Swami Pragyapad and to be with him but my body did not allow as I constantly coughing and sneezing my mind is constantly in intellectual mode. Soon I ended up spending rest of the weekend on my bed recovering. I could not accept the fact that I failed to see him making my mind even weaker than the body.
All and all I realize how strong I should be both physically and mentally and How I should be grateful for every moment and if I have to continue this path, how strong should I be and how deep I should go!!!, for this moment I can only pray to give me strength to become strong and give me strength to continue and to Never Give up!!!!
